one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
