Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize