I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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