Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
