i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
