doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
