you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
