I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
