I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
