I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
