No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
