Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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