Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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