Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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