I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
