is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
