i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
