i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
