talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
