Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
