you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
