i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
