I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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