You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
