you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
