I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I have feelings that need drinking.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
