she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
