I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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