Where is the hickey?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
