He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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