Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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