I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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