Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
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