when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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