just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
