sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
