woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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