Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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