She's like a pop up book from hell.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
