im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
