My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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