And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize