Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
