It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize