Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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