are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
