Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
birth control should be required to get into college
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
