I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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