I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
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As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
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