I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
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