New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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