how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
