I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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