Whoa Z and x make the same sound
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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