Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
