Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
