Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
