Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
