that's an acceptable place to lick
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
