Your face is a jimmy john
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
